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I am not the mom I want to be.
I want to be the Pinterest mom with a cute crafts that I can hang on the refrigerator for my kids. Instead, I am the mom making the cut-out hand turkey three days after Thanksgiving. Did I mention my turkey is green because I don’t have brown construction paper?
I want to be the mom with the beautiful clean kitchen that glistens like there’s a magical light touching it. Instead, I am the mom running around with a vacuum chasing ants off the kitchen floor yelling at the kids for dropping a bread crumb.
I want to be the mom that speaks love and goodness, truth and beauty into my children. I want them to hear great words, rich language, well-crafted sentences. Instead they hear me mutter ‘oh shit’ when I can’t find my keys. They hear me scream, ‘fuck’ when I drive by the cop going too fast. They hear ‘son of a bitch’ when I can’t get a toy together.
And in a moment of complete honesty, I would say that my son can repeat all the curse words but has yet to memorized one single Bible verse.
I struggle between the Mamma I am and the Mamma I want to be
I want to be the patient, sweet, soft spoken mom. Instead, I am the mom on the sidelines of sporting events mimicking how to do whatever they’re doing. Calling out commands, and secretly planning how we will out play all the other toddlers.
I want to be the mom that can curl up with my son and daughter on the couch and read stories for hours. But I am the mom who enrolls in the reading program and runs around the house with books screaming ‘we need to read for 10 minutes today! We have 500 more minutes to go to get the next prize. ‘
This is what it’s really like being a stay-at-home mother!
Finding my way as a Mamma
I want to be the fun, cool mom but everything about me is not that. So where does that leave me? It leaves me with a great group of other women, who like me struggle every day to be a better version of themselves because they love their kids.
So, while we may not have the Instagram picture of us sitting on a pristine couch under a white blanket reading stories. We still get our reading done. And while my son may know some curse words, he also still knows Jesus loves him.
Getting better every day
My world may not be perfect and I am definitely not the perfect mom but that doesn’t mean I don’t get up every day and strive to be better and it doesn’t mean I don’t pay attention to the other moms that surround me and allow myself to learn from them. It is because of these great moms, I have learned to be more patient, more kind, more structured, more child lead learning, more go with the flow.
Ever feel like a failure as a mom? Yeah, I get it!
God gave you to your children for a reason
So take some time today and think about what makes you a great mom.
Don’t focus on what you’re lacking, because if you are a great mom you already know that list. But instead focus on what you do well.
Remember, God created your children for you, and whatever it is that you have to give, it is exactly what they need. Never forget that in God‘s great majesty he specifically made your baby for you. You are everything that your baby needs and he is everything that you need. You were wonderfully made and lovingly formed for eachother.
We are the children of an intelligent God. He did not just throw souls down into our wombs to spit out people but he matches us so that we can be all that our children need and they can help us grow into the people God creates us to be.
So, Mamma, you’re doing a good job and you’re going to be OK. You were made for this.
These are what the different types of mothers are — and how to tell which one you are.