How To Become The Mother You Want To Be

I am not the mom I want to be.

I want to be the Pinterest mom with a cute crafts that I can hang on the refrigerator for my kids. Instead, I am the mom making the cut-out hand turkey three days after Thanksgiving. Did I mention my turkey is green because I don’t have brown construction paper?

I want to be the mom with the beautiful clean kitchen that glistens like there’s a magical light touching it. Instead, I am the mom running around with a vacuum chasing ants off the kitchen floor yelling at the kids for dropping a bread crumb.

I want to be the mom that speaks love and goodness, truth and beauty into my children. I want them to hear great words, rich language, well-crafted sentences. Instead they hear me mutter ‘oh shit’ when I can’t find my keys.  They hear me scream, ‘fuck’ when I drive by the cop going too fast. They hear ‘son of a bitch’ when I can’t get a toy together.

And in a moment of complete honesty, I would say that my son can repeat all the curse words but has yet to memorized one single Bible verse.Continue reading

10 Best Ways To Save Money As A Stay-At-Home Mom

Are you a stay at home mom stressed about the budget?

Do you ever feel guilty about not bringing in income?

Do you wish that you could contribute to the family?

This article is not about how to make side money.  It is also not about how much you are worth as a stay at home mom. How do you put a value on your time with y our children?

This is about real practical ways, you can help cut spending. Let’s face it, when it comes to a budget there are really two pieces. Income which we don’t control and expenses.

Expenses are what, we as stay at home moms, have complete control over. We typically do all the shopping (i.e. all the spending).

So let’s talk about tricks to save in the spending!Continue reading

Why You Need To Raise Independent Children

When I was a little girl, I had a very good friend who was a little boy that was always getting into trouble. He had a saying that he taught me that changed my life.

It was ‘row your own boat.’

So when all the kids were doing the exact same thing, playing the exact same games, going to the exact same movies, having the exact same experiences, this friend of mine was rowing his own boat, making his own path, making his own decisions.

He was never the kid in the middle of the group but always a kid on the outside.Continue reading

This Is Why You Shouldn’t Treat Your Kids Equally

In our country we talk about equality all the time. In America, equality is mostly defined as everyone having the same pay for the same job. Equality defined as seeing people through the same lens. Basically everyone is the same and equal to everyone else.

Yet, when we give everyone exactly the same thing, there always seems to be this underlying discontentment. I think on some underlying level, we know that while we may all be human and share similar basic needs, our needs, wants, desires, hopes and dreams are not the same.

No matter how similar our life is to someone else, we are very different people and this is even more true when you deal with siblings.Continue reading

How To Deal With The Pressure Of Being A Stay-At-Home Mom

Dealing with the pressure of being a stay-at-home mom is like no other.  I was reading a question on a Facebook group yesterday from a new stay at home mom.  In it, she talked about how she stayed up all night obsessing about the areas of her life that she was failing in.  She wanted advice on how to cope.

Unlike the working mom, who is always lauded for balancing life and job and kids, the stay at home mom is held to an impossible standard of perfection.  And we allow it.

Instead of getting advice that she was doing fine, she was giving cleaning day suggestions, activities, and structure ideas.  As stay at home mothers we put a ton of pressure on ourselves. Continue reading

Have You Ever Felt Like A Failure As A Mom?

Mammas, have you ever felt like a failure as a mom?

Tonight was one of those nights that I felt like I failed my son.

I took him to an carnival to see the animals, eat fun food and ride the great rides.  Well we saw the animals, we had a fun dinner, we played on every tractor, looked at all the sheds, he laughed, ran, skipped, ate fun foods.

Then, the rides came. Continue reading

What It’s Like Going From One Child To Two

I remember the morning I went into labor.

It was 3:30 am and my water broke.

I took a shower, got myself cleaned up and went and laid in bed with my son. He snuggled up close to me, holding my hand and I took a couple pictures of us knowing that this was the last moment there’s going to be just the two of us.

This was the happiest and scariest moment in my life.
Continue reading

Things You Should Do Before Baby 2

On the night before she was born, I held you a little extra tight.  I whispered “I love you” a million times over into your ear and I cried.

Not because I was sad about the impending birth of your little sister, but because of what I fear I will lose. Continue reading

You Can Definitely Lose Weight On The “Toddler Diet”

When I was pregnant with my first everyone said that breastfeeding was the best way to lose all the weight and they were right.  I nursed you for 15 months and after about the first 9 I returned to my pre-pregnancy weight.

Now, unfortunately, I never lost an extra ounce.  Not one darn pound.  Truly I found this mystifying.   It wasn’t until my son turned two that I learned the secret to continued weight loss without the need for exercise that experienced moms all seem to know about.

I have yet to hear it having a proper title, so today I am calling it out by name: The “Toddler Diet.” Continue reading

This Is How I Broke Sleep As A New Mom

I did it all wrong with sleep.

I remember our first night in the hospital, my peaceful, sleepy son began screaming as soon as we turned out the lights and laid him in his bassinet.  After picking him back up and nursing him again and repeating the process of crying and screaming I remember telling my husband, “Oh my God, I think he is afraid of the dark! Turn on all the lights!”

This of course did not fix our sleep problem but was the opening statement in a two year long journey that consisted of me doing everything you weren’t suppose to do. Continue reading