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Mammas, have you ever felt like a failure as a mom?
Tonight was one of those nights that I felt like I failed my son.
I took him to an carnival to see the animals, eat fun food and ride the great rides. Well we saw the animals, we had a fun dinner, we played on every tractor, looked at all the sheds, he laughed, ran, skipped, ate fun foods.
Then, the rides came.
My son freaked out and I couldn’t help him overcome it
He confidently walked up to this dragon ride, got on, strapped himself in and it began. He was doing great until it went up in the air and it was at that moment he freaked out. I asked them to stop the ride, as he was the only child on it, and pulled him off.
I told him how proud I was that he tried something new, how brave he was for going high up in the air. We high-fived and began to walk around.
But now, he didn’t want to do any of the rides. None, zip, zero. My heart broke. Then he began to complain it was too loud, put his hands over his ears and wanted to retreat to the tractors.
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He refused to do anything, cried, and ran away
On our way there, we ran into another family, friends of ours, who had a little girl the same age as my son. They asked us to join them on the Ferris wheel and my son refused. Crying, he ran away.
I chased him down and tried talking to him, but he was adamant. No more rides. They were too big for him. He wanted popcorn and lemonade.
So off we went, as he ate his popcorn he and I watched as his friend rode the Ferris wheel. Despite my continual questions, he didn’t want to do it.
So back to the tractors.
Here’s how I reassured my son everything would be OK when his sister was born.
The push and pull between his world and mine
In his world, he had a great time. He even told me so.
But in mine, I cried. I cried because I let fear stand in his way. I cried because his friend experienced something and he missed out. I cried because I failed to make him feel safe a secure. I cried because I thought I had done it all right.
I thought he was the most confident, independent kid. I was wrong.
I realized that my son is his own person
Back at home, he asked to play outside and we set up a blanket for his sister in the grass and he came running over to join her. Crowding onto the blanket, he covered her and I with kisses, until we were all laughing.
Falling back into the grass, we watched the darkening of the sky and I taught him how to roll down the hill. It was then that I realized, that my earlier “failure” wasn’t the end of the world.
That my son is brave and strong. But he isn’t ever going to be like everyone else.
He is his own person, with his own feelings, fears and memories. My job as his mom is to cheer him on and love him for exactly who God made him to be.
As moms, sometimes it is hard to not see our kids through the eyes of everyone else. Sometimes we want to compare. This is wrong. There is not greater child at the age of 2/3 years old than your own. If you fail to see his/her greatness, then how can you expect your child to see it?
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