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I laid in bed this morning at 4:45 to my daughter happily chatting to me in baby talk. Well, it was more grunting and refusing to be nursed back to sleep, but I wanted it to be happy.
I dreamed about sleeping in, not going anywhere, taking a long shower. The reality was at 4:00 am my 6 month old baby somehow wiggled her diaper down, peed out of it, and all over me. I had stripped the bed and was at that moment sleeping on a towel, while she refused to back to sleep.
My son would wake at 6:30 and happily chirp “Good morning, Mamma”. I would shower with my daughter at my feet and my son screaming he wants to go down stairs now. I would spend my day doing a paint project with a mom’s group, chasing a 3 year old around a playground, shopping for fall clothes, and eating dinner out to please my husband.
In my entire day, no one would know about my exhaustion. Instead, they see my happy pictures. Watch me laugh at my kids antics, and get on with it.
Because that is motherhood.
Motherhood will reveal your weaknesses
Motherhood is waking up at four in the morning to your baby peeing on you.
Motherhood is stripping the bed, changing the baby, then showering the pee off you.
Motherhood is getting spit up multiple times through the day and night and dealing with it.
Motherhood, is letting your husband sleep in another room so he can get rested while you stay up with a sick baby.
Motherhood is being thrown up again and again when your baby has the stomach flu.
Motherhood is getting the stomach flu from being thrown up and taking care of your babies while sick.
Motherhood, is getting out of bed to a crying baby rather than the alarm.
Motherhood…Motherhood is hard. Motherhood, will break you, hurt you, and bring you to your knees.
Motherhood will reveal every weakness you have in you. Show you every mistake you made and take every ounce of strength you possess.
Motherhood is laundry (and lots of it)
Luke Bryan came out with a song for the summer called Sunrise, Sunburn, Sunset. If the song was about Motherhood it would read laundry, dishes, laundry, and repeat.
There is nothing glamorous about motherhood. Whether you work or stay at home, motherhood tests your limits of self sacrifices and changes you in ways you could never imagine.
But the biggest untold secret to motherhood is the loneliness.
Motherhood is loneliness
We are lonely when our babies are born and we are overwhelmed with leaving the house. We are lonely when we return a job and our friends stay at home.
We are lonely when are friends go back to work and we are left in a house with crying babies.
We are lonely when our friends have more babies and we can’t conceive.
We are lonely when we have baby 3-100 and people ask us if we are done, what were we thinking, why so many?
We are lonely when our child has a meltdown at a playgroup and all the other kids are laughing and having fun.
I am lonely at lunch. That might sound weird to most people, but for me, my son eats in about thirty seconds and if off playing and I sit at the table alone eating pb&j sandwich.
Each of us has a moment of daily loneliness. It goes untold. The struggles that we bear on our shoulders from day to day are often carried without a word. And because of that, the outside world only sees our happy smiles, our beautiful pictures on Facebook and Instagram, our funny stories, and our outside wall of togetherness.
So the next time you are out and about, and you run into another mom, say Hi, ask about her baby, kid, child, share a smile and a moment in your day.
You never know. This could have been her moment of loneliness and you may have been her friend for that one minute.