August 2, 2018

You Can Definitely Lose Weight On The “Toddler Diet”

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You Can Definitely Lose Weight On The Toddler Diet

When I was pregnant with my first everyone said that breastfeeding was the best way to lose all the weight and they were right.  I nursed you for 15 months and after about the first 9 I returned to my pre-pregnancy weight.

Now, unfortunately, I never lost an extra ounce.  Not one darn pound.  Truly I found this mystifying.   It wasn’t until my son turned two that I learned the secret to continued weight loss without the need for exercise that experienced moms all seem to know about.

I have yet to hear it having a proper title, so today I am calling it out by name: The “Toddler Diet.” 

Yes, You Can Lose Weight On The “Toddler Diet”

No Breakfast For You

The toddler diet is quite simple really.  You get up in the morning and you make your child’s breakfast and make your own.  You sit down at the table together and pick up your coffee.  Your toddler then proceeds to make a daring leap across the table for your glass.

Fearing 3rd degree burns, you quickly hide the coffee back in the microwave, vowing to return to it.  When you return to the table you find your child has spit out his eggs, or cereal, or oatmeal and is loudly proclaiming it yuck. It is in one large goopy mess on top of his nicely prepared breakfast.

You sit down, thinking, I can reason with him.  He then climbs onto your lap and snuggles in so sweetly, and begins to eat off your plate.  He is eating, good food! Real food! You quickly decide the end goal of him getting healthy food over the crap filled snack he will be begging for in ten minutes is worth sharing 80% of your plate with him.

Breakfast ends, you clean the table, the chair, the floor, the counter tops, all pots and pans and your son. This should involve at least ten wind sprints and 20 squats.  This pattern will repeat at lunch and dinner.

Forget A Glass of Wine

The once large glass of diet soda now is hidden in the back of the fridge and that dreamy glass of wine you thought you would have at dinner is poured down the drain after weighing how a conversation with child services would go, if you had to report you had a drunk two year old.

Would anyone really believe, you only got up from the table for two minutes to grab a clean fork before he gulped down an entire glass of wine and poured the rest of the bottle on the floor and was currently laying in it and lapping it up with your dog?  No, they would of course think I was a drunk and had started drinking around 9 am.

Consistency is Key

So over the last few months, I have tried different drinks, different adult meals while serving him sure to love toddler food.  I have tried everyone having the same thing, to everyone having their favorite.  Really anything so that I can eat one meal in its entirety.

And I have become amazed at the fact that whether I am eating bean soup or PB&J whatever happens to be on my plate is and always will be more appetizing and exciting than what is on his plate.  Even if it exactly the same.   There use to be a time in my life where I would eat a full meal at a restaurant.

Today, I split that meal between my self, my son and his lovely (Baba the sheep).  I am now the person who leaves a restaurant hungry, despite an empty plate.  Did I mention that I ate while also crawling under the table, running out the back door, jumping to catching a flying fork and diving for glass of chocolate milk.  So not am not only hungry but I am exhausted too!

Toddler Care = HITT Exercise? 

If you find yourself wondering how that mom with two toddlers looks so skinny and never goes to the gym, it’s the toddler diet.  I guarantee it.  It combines HITT with a very low calorie diet.

And let’s be honest that wonderful sweet tooth that you have, suddenly disappears when you watch your healthy child devour a cupcake at world class speed.  And proceed to run through your house with frosting fingers spreading over your walls screaming like a wild animal.

Nope, no matter how good that future cupcake looks, you will always remember how hard frosting can become on a wall if you don’t scrub it immediately.  So you vow to yourself that you will remember the coffee, the soda, the chocolate that you hid in the microwave or top shelf of the coat closet once the kids go to bed.

But after a day of running, sprinting, squatting, jumping, lifting and climbing stairs, lets face it, you are going to bed at 8pm too.  The chocolate and caffeine will just have to wait for another day.

 

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